If, like me, you have a son, then you may have watched or read about the new Netflix series Adolescence and felt worry, stress and overwhelm. If this is how you feel, you’re not alone. The series might make you ask how can we as parents and carers, know what our children are seeing online and have open and honest conversations about what they’re encountering? Conversations that don’t shut the door to future conversations. Conversations where we listen with respect but equally challenge what they may see and are exposed to. Conversations where we keep our emotions in check and don’t overreact.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t easy. We’re all learning at the same time. The digital world is changing every single day. Which means our kids’ and our relationships, experiences and lives are changing all the time too.

But I wanted to share some resources and thoughts — because it’s easy to get swept up in fear and worry, to imagine the worst and not know where to start. Here are 3 tips you might want to consider to get you started.

#1 Start digital safety conversations early

The moment your child has access to an online life, you need to be confident in being able to speak to them about what they might encounter. It’s never too early to start these conversations in an age appropriate way and depending on what they have access to online. NSPCC have developed Techsaurus, a dinosaur that helps parents and carers have conversations with children under 5 about online safety.

#2 Create an open and safe conversation environment

Create an environment where children can have open and honest conversations with you. It’s important to reassure our kids that we are a safe place to raise worries or concerns. You could ask questions such as ​‘have you seen anything online that you are not comfortable with or that’s upset you?’. It might also be helpful to let them know there are people other than you they can speak to about these things, such as aunts, uncles, family friends or it could be sharing resources like ChildLine with them, so they know there are other people they can speak to as well.

#3 Set clear digital boundaries as a family 

Promote a good relationship with technology and set clear boundaries.You might want to discuss this as a family, and use family digital agreement templates like the one by Internet Matters, to set clear rules and boundaries around how much screen time is OK and what apps, devices and websites your children have access to.

I also wanted to share some resources that you might find useful:

• To Be A Boy Podcast by Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae — the new podcast looks at what it’s like to a boy today. Following on from Adolescence they’re recording a special episode which will be available next Tuesday. Listen where you’d normally listen to your podcasts! 
• Young Minds Social Media Guide for Parents — it covers topics including talking to your child about social media and how to spot warning signs. 
• NSPCC’s Keeping children safe online advice — we’ve talked a lot about age appropriate conversations and technology use, NSPCC have a great guide about supporting children with technology at different ages, as well as loads of other useful resources. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts as you navigate your child’s online life. We’ve shared posts on our Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn, so please do add your comments there. You’re not in this alone and we are keen to keep providing practical, supportive and informative information and advice as part of our Raising Digital Kids initiative. So please do let us know what else you’d like to hear about, what concerns you might have or tips you’d like to share. Just email hello@mama.codes — we’d love to hear from you.